Sunday, February 18, 2007


i Do Electronic Weddings! But Not CyberRape

Is your wedding so complicated that you need a database? Well, if you can't afford a Wedding Planner then how about trying iDo: Wedding Couple Edition software?

I was thinking...why go to your own wedding? just login, register for the license, and IM a kiss to your beloved!

It's probably happening as I write on Second Life; amusing as I find it all, I just can't stand the idea of two Avatars wedding on-line. Too late of course, I remember way back when there were MUD's (Multi-user Dungeons). More than one wedding happened in those worlds (and one Rape if you can believe it!).

Read the chapter called "A Rape In CyberSpace: How an Evil Clown, A Haitian Spirit Trickster, Two Wizards and a Cast of Dozens Turned a Database into a Society" in a fascinating book called Internet Dreams: Archetypes, Myths, and Metaphors.

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Friday, February 09, 2007


Symbolic Bears

On our first date Mr. Ex bought me a stuffed bear adorned with little peace signs. The peace bear sat on my dresser for the whole year we dated. But then...the break-up. The BEAR HAD TO GO. So the bear, the cd with "our song", the trinkets and birthday gifts, all went into a bag in the back of the closet. I purged every reminder of Mr. Ex.

Many weeks later I needed that bag for a trip and dumped out the stuffed bear that "he" bought me, and also a stuffed cow that I had bought for myself. I loved that cow and I'm not sure why I put him in the closet. The two bears fell from the bag onto my nightstand (my bear and "his" bear). I swear I did NOT pose these bears! This is how they fell:

Mr. Cow really put the dumb peace bear in his place!

Gotta love synchronicity.

Signing off,


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Sunday, January 28, 2007


Got an emailed photo of a friends engagement ring. She's a photographer, note the sparkly light reflected on her hand.

I would say of myself "always a bridesmaid, never a bride....", but I'm not even a bridesmaid!

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Sunday, January 21, 2007


OK, I know, I know...Weddings, Births, and Funerals, the circle of life. It all came together to me at a friends wedding. No doubt they paid big money to have someone put a circle of rose petals under the canopy. Red at the center, then pink, then white.

Charged with taking some candid pre-wedding snaps, I was probably supposed to be sneaking around taking pictures of the flower girl or the brides maids giggling. But then, it was me. They chose me for the job. So what was I compelled to "shoot"? The circle of course. I was transfixed. I took one look at it and all I could see was a murder scene. A spot of blood at the center, ever widening as it spread out on the white carpet.

A very creepy symbol to stand upon for ones wedding...or is just my fear of marriage? Or more Jungian, that in marriage some part of the individual self must die? Or am I mixing up the French metaphor, la petite morte? (look it up for a laugh if you're not familiar)

Take a look, was it my morbid imagination?

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Saturday, January 13, 2007


Wedding Feng Shui
by pam ashlund

Bought a little book on the Feng Shui of love. I can only assume it's over-simplified for pop consumption..But I am the target audience. A once-again single, middle-class anglo girl with time on her hands (and who has $8.95 to spare for an impulse purchase.

Angie Ma Wong warns:

Don't adorn your home with morbid (or) depressing...images.

Hmmm, do you think the skeleton wedding couple counts? Let's just say I have stored my Dias del los Muertos decoration just in case.

In addition, the book offered the following tips:

  • Don't place your bed at the short wall of a pitched ceiling.
  • Do avoid geometric shapes, especially triangles in your bedroom...decor.
  • Don't make a room with irregularly angled walls your bedroom.
  • Don't choose a bedroom with high or cathedral ceilings.
  • Don't choose a home in which the master bedroom is in the front of the house facing the street. It should be protected in the rear.

    To see pictures of my home visit Lofty Thoughts.

    Back in the early 90's I took a Feng Shui course of a more in depth discipline known as the Black Hat school. The teachers (two berkely-esque white guys) were a little defensive about their right to teach this traditionally secret material. After a disturbing experience after chanting the "snake rising" prayer to raise energy, and the "heart opening" prayer to open to the pain of the universe, I decided the objectors might have a point.
  • I do recommend the following book (as opposed to the pop version above) for those interested in a more in-depth pursuit.

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    The “…ring is evil. .. we'll try to destroy it. In the meantime, leave it for Frodo to play with.” Gandalf

    Who understands the power of the ring? Wagner? Definitely. Tolkien? Yes, Yes. Horror Movie Screenwriters? Getting there. How about me?

    I'm talking about THE ring...the . I never realized what numinosity "the ring" held for me...until one day fifteen years ago, sitting with my boyfriend in the dreaded "couples counseling" session. The counselor said, "Pam, what man wants to feel that all you see in him is a giant walking wedding ring"? Or something to that effect. I had to laugh at the chord that struck.

    At the time, as an unmarried woman in her 30's, I hadn't noticed when the transition had happened. In my teens and twenties, I had met men and seen them at face value (look at his smile, his hair, his sense of humor, his talent, etc.). But somewhere along the line the inner dialogue switched to "I wonder what our children would look like? or "The day I met your father..." (pre-reminiscing)". And then it all took a turn for the "I wonder what kind of diamond he can buy me"!

    What would happen in my 40's? Well, I have lived to tell the tale, as this is my 45th year on the planet. It is also the year that the event happened that noone ever believed would happen...the marriage proposal. SCREECH! Well...not exactly a proposal...I believe his exact words were "What's the plan babe?". I gracefully offered to design the plan. First step . I'll work on the rest of the plan later. ;-)

    "I, Frodo…, will take the Ring, though I do not know the way." Frodo

    Once marriage was on the table we had to decide what details the plan would address, for example: a date? a wedding ceremony? who to invite? a cake? a honeymoon? an engagement ring?

    I don't think either of us were prepared for the conversation about the ring. I didn't expect it to be a big deal to me. HE didn't think it would be such a big deal to ME. We talked about it on the phone, we talked about it in person, we even continued the conversation at night via yahoo instant messenger (IM).

    It was in IM that the following conversation occurred:

    He: Is a ring really that important to you?
    Me: It isn't the ring, its a symbol, it means we are beginning our life together
    He: You are my mountain and I am your Frodo.

    “It's not evil. It's mine. My precious. Mine! MINE, I TELL YOU!!” Bilbo

    Or...Become a Tolkein Geek and Forget about Getting Married:

    Want to build your own Hobbit Hole? No problem, watch the how-to video (project time estimate: 3 yrs).

    Get your own Hobbit name with the Hobbit Name Generator. Just type in your name and find your hobbit name will be revealed!

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