The “…ring is evil. .. we'll try to destroy it. In the meantime, leave it for Frodo to play with.” Gandalf
Who understands the power of the ring? Wagner? Definitely. Tolkien? Yes, Yes. Horror Movie Screenwriters? Getting there. How about me?
I'm talking about THE ring...the wedding ring. I never realized what numinosity
"the ring" held for me...until one day fifteen years ago, sitting with my boyfriend in the dreaded "couples counseling" session. The counselor said, "Pam, what man wants to feel that all you see in him is a giant walking wedding ring"? Or something to that effect. I had to laugh at the chord that struck.At the time, as an unmarried woman in her 30's, I hadn't noticed when the transition had happened. In my teens and twenties, I had met men and seen them at face value (look at his smile, his hair, his sense of humor, his talent, etc.). But somewhere along the line the inner dialogue switched to "I wonder what our children would look like? or "The day I met your father..." (pre-reminiscing)". And then it all took a turn for the worse...to "I wonder what kind of diamond he can buy me"!
What would happen in my 40's? Well, I have lived to tell the tale, as this is my 45th year on the planet. It is also the year that the event happened that noone ever believed would happen...the marriage proposal. SCREECH! Well...not exactly a proposal...I believe his exact words were "What's the plan babe?". I gracefully offered to design the plan. First step marriage. I'll work on the rest of the plan later. ;-)
"I, Frodo…, will take the Ring, though I do not know the way." Frodo
Once marriage was on the table we had to decide what details the plan would address, for example: a date? a wedding ceremony? who to invite? a cake? a honeymoon? an engagement ring?
I don't think either of us were prepared for the conversation about the ring. I didn't expect it to be a big deal to me. HE didn't think it would be such a big deal to ME. We talked about it on the phone, we talked about it in person, we even continued the conversation at night via yahoo instant messenger (IM).
It was in IM that the following conversation occurred:
He: Is a ring really that important to you?
Me: It isn't the ring, its a symbol, it means we are beginning our life together
He: You are my mountain and I am your Frodo.
“It's not evil. It's mine. My precious. Mine! MINE, I TELL YOU!!” Bilbo
Or...Become a Tolkein Geek and Forget about Getting Married:
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